11:58pm – Wake Up

12:10am – Leave Russellville

12:45am – Arrive Bowling Green, go to Waffle House

01:30am – Depart Waffle House

01:45am – Arrive at BG Wal-Mart after scouting the mall

02:15am – Plant womenfolk around portable DVD players, commence scouting trip around store

02:30am – Call wives across store on cell to tell about stuffed Elmo’s – long sought item

02:42am – Say goodbye to sister-in-law still stationed at DVD players, give pep talk

02:56am – Attempt to say goodbye to wife stationed at the Elmo, hold place while she visits restroom

03:21am – Depart Wal-Mart on foot for Dunham Sports

03:31am – Arrive, first in line, at Dunham

04:10am – First Dunham competition arrives

04:50am – Wives call to tell that all hell has broken loose, and sister-in-law was mauled at the DVD players

04:58am – Dunham opens doors, heads to Gun Counter, buy Savage Model 64 .22LR Rifle for $99

05:30am – Wives call, scared, ask if we can skip pre-planned Target rendezvous

05:45am – Wives arrive at Dunham while men are still shopping for “manstuff”

05:54am – Last-minute decision for men to go to Target and women to go Mall shopping

05:59am – Arrive Target, witness battle lines between line people and line crashers.  Chants erupt, police arrive

06:10am – Find items, head to checkout, make friends in line

06:30am – meet up with brother-in-law and exit Target on foot again for the mall

07:00am – find womenfolk in mall, commence following

08:10am – Leave mall, head for Gander Mtn. for walkie-talkies with VOX

08:30am – Leave Gander Mtn, head for Best Buy for movies, etc
09:45am – Leave Best Buy for Steak-N-Shake

10:30am – Leave S-n-S for Russellville

11:15am – Arrive Russellville, unload, kiss house, and fool myself into believing I’ll get some sleep.